SHOW YOURSELF

With a voice that can calm the stormy seas, many have enjoyed the beautiful music by a woman named Fatai.  For many of us we’ve been uplifted and edified by her songs.  For others they have been touched and even strengthened in faith by the message given through her music.

Fatai is admired because of her talents, loved because of her Christ like personality and looked up to because of her strength in life that she tells us about below.

This is the story of Leslie Fatai Tavo-Nau.  She was born in Salt Lake City, UT on February 7, 1986.  Her favorite foods are fruits and veggies and above all sweets.  She enjoys playing Sudoku and something interesting about her is that she loves fixing hair.

God Created Me
Fatai explains, “I was born with a deformity from my elbows to my hands. I have only five fingers, two fingers on my right hand, and three on my left.”

[photo] Fatai as a baby.

Mom and Dad
How did your parents react when u were born?  Fatai answered, “I am my parents' firstborn. My mom said that when I was born, the doctor and nurses gave an impression that something was wrong. She asked if I was okay, but they didn't answer. As they took me away to run some tests, she prayed for me that I would be okay. Later they told her about my hands. The first thing she asked was if I was going to be okay. She was relieved when they said yes. My father remembers how grateful he was that I was alive and healthy, but knew my life was special.”

Nothing meant more then their little baby girl's life.  She was more then perfect in their eyes.

News
The doctors told her parents that she “would need help doing everything.”  Fatai further shares, “Limitations assumed would be anything that had to do with my hands. My two fingers on my right hand could not move. I also don't have a joint on my right elbow to bend.”  Questions they thought about were, “Will she need help holding things? Could she write? How would she be able to hold a pen? How can she fix her hair? Can she drive?”  These would only be answered in time.

“My parents thought it wise to let me explore and try things out. They knew I would need help and waited to see what I would need help with.”

No Limits
“When I was young, I never thought my hands were different from anyone else. I don't remember being told I couldn't do anything. A few years after being told that I would be limited, after many hand massages, I was able to move my two fingers on my right hand. This helped make things easier with carrying and picking up things.  I had to learn to do things just like everyone else. Of course, I did things differently but I learned it.
For example, I wanted to play the trombone. Because my arms weren't long enough, I used my foot to slide the brace back and forth. Another example, I learned to play the piano. I first started playing just by hitting the keys and putting songs together like ‘Mary had a little lamb.’ My desire to learn moved me to take piano lessons. My parents were very supportive of me. My first piano lesson with my piano teacher was very interesting because the first lesson had to deal with hand positioning. My piano teacher did her best to teach me that, but I had to teach myself. My desire to play was strong enough for me to see past my limitation.”

“Yes, there are some things that I can't do today for example, putting my hair in a ponytail. It was frustrating that I couldn't even do this simple task, but in time I was able to accept it and learned to improvise. I can do other things with my hair and when I want my hair in a ponytail, I just simply ask for help.”

My Motivation
I asked Fatai, what kept you going in life? She says, “I know if I didn't have a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ, I would not be motivated to live my life. Through Him, I was able to see the possibilities and not my disability.”

Struggles
"I never felt like I had a disability until I started recognizing all the stares and looks that I got. When you're a little kid, playing and running around, you don't pay attention to anything but having fun. As I got older and entered my teen years, the constant staring, whispering and occasional pointing took a toll on my self-esteem.
I became paranoid. I felt like everyone was sneaking stares at my hands. But despite my issues, I loved hanging out with my friends, being around people and I didn't want them to see my struggle within. Weird? Yeah, I know.
I became involved in student government for my middle school. It was a lot of fun, but it was hard. Being a student body officer, I was involved in many school functions and I had to get out of my comfort zone. A neighboring school's student government invited our student government to their dance. So we went. During the dance, they had the student body officers take the dance floor and start a slow dance number. We were paired up with each other. We then were to break up and find new partners and keep doing this until everyone was dancing. The first break happened and I was to look for a new partner. I didn't know anybody because this was a different school, but I was hoping that someone would at least dance with me. I walked to the nearest boy, and as I did so they backed up and walked away. I looked to the boy closest and he did the same. As I tried the third time, several of the boys all backed up, like I had a disease or something, looking at my weird shaped arms. I couldn't hold my tears in and bear the humiliation any longer. This was what I was trying to avoid. This was why I tried to hide my hands. I didn't want people to be scared of me.
I started to hide my hands. It would be so hot in the summer, and I would be wearing a sweater. I would wear anything long sleeved hoping that no one would recognize how different my hands are from theirs. At this point in my life, I wished I wasn't born with these hands. I didn't want to feel like a freak. I didn't want people to pity me. I just wanted people to accept me and my hands.”

Burdens made light
On many of Fatai’s songs you can hear how her Faith was crucial in getting her through her struggles in life.  She shares that, “Seminary played a big part. I loved going to seminary. I always felt good about myself there. I never felted judged and knew I was accepted there because we were all there to learn about Christ. My junior year I had an amazing seminary teacher, Brother Beebe, who had this amazing spirit that he carried. He helped me gain a relationship with Christ. It was there I was able to gain a personal testimony of Him.”

Daddy’s little girl
Everyone has that certain person or persons who we would say, “I don’t know where I’d be without them.”  Fatai was blessed with such a loving family and supportive friends.  She goes on to share, “There are so many people who were there for me, but I would have to say from the beginning it would be my Dad.  He always says what I need to hear. When I was struggling with my self esteem, he was there to give me support in every way, encouraging me to be proud of who I am, a daughter of God. I remember one time, he said to me, ‘Fatai, show yourself! Show yourself and they will love you!’ He was right. I still turn to him today when I need help with anything.”

[photo] Fatai's Parents

Positive
I asked Fatai, How were you able to remain positive through life?  She answered, “It's better than being negative. When I was struggling, I was only focusing on the negative and it brought a lot of sadness. A lot of emptiness. Being positive is being happy. It's choosing to be happy, and everyone wants to be happy. That's why I strive to be positive.”

Meliani Tonga-Mila, a childhood friend, shares with us, “Fatai has taught me the gift of service and the power of faith. She has overcome so many obstacles and never once let anything hold her back from giving and serving others. She’s utilized her strongest talent which is her voice and continues to touch the hearts of all those who hear her strong spirit, through her voice. Her faith is what's sustained her as a daughter, a friend, a missionary and now as a mother and wife. She always seems to find the good in every situation.”

Assumptions
Many assume a lot of things about Fatai upon seeing her, she tells us, “For those who don't know me assume I can't do much and require a lot of help. But in time, they learn otherwise. When they do see me doing something, they wonder, ‘How does she do it?’ To tell you the truth if you were born with my hands, you would be doing the same thing that I'm doing, because this is all I know. If an accident caused the deformity in my hands, I think it would've been harder to learn to do simple everyday things. Another thing is I still get pitied and that's kind of annoying. I've done so much with my hands, using the little fingers that I have. What have you done with your ten? lol I do know there is a difference between pity and sympathy. There have been many great people who were there with me and suffered with me through my struggle. They, too, helped me overcome my battle with myself.”

Learning from Assumptions
"I've learned that some people's intentions are good. They genuinely want to help me. I used to get offended easily, thinking I was being belittled. I've come to know that people do care. Knowing this has opened me to new friendships and relationships. I also respect those who may not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but are curious.
Kids are especially funny with this. I love how innocent they are as they ask their 21 questions about my hands while their parents turn red, embarrassed, trying to get their kids to shut up. Lol. I laugh because kids are naturally curious and just want to know. Of course, there are times when a kid will make fun of me, but I simply ask them if we can be friends and they won't make fun of me or anyone else that looks different. They usually agree.”

Ultimate Me

Fatai shares, “I want to be a good person. I want to be respected. I want to be treated equally and fairly. Oh, and I want to be a billionaire! Lol... but for real!

[photo] Fatai

Besides Christ, I would have to say my Dad has been my role model. With what was said previously, I find that a lot of my strengths come from him.”

Meliani shares, “What I love most about Fatai is her humility. She is honestly the most gifted and talented person I know, and yet she is so humble and willing to share her voice every time she is asked."

This is Me

Fatai has found success in many goals she set and tells us of some, “I was able to pursue both singing and playing piano. I got better at composing my own music. I ended up teaching choir in high school and church. I started a choir called One Voice with a few of my good friends. Before I left to serve an LDS mission, I came out with an album of some of my original songs entitled ‘My Testimony.’ This album helped pay for my mission.”

Meliani adds, “Fatai has always been that extra push I needed from a loving friend for as long as I can remember. We not only share our friendship through conversations, hanging out and as sisters but through music as well. We have a bond we share only through music. When she sings and I accompany her we go onto our 'special zone' where the music helps define us, and portrays our thoughts and feelings through song. Fatai is an amazing sister, daughter, wife, and mother and to me she's the best friend I could ever ask for.”

Today

Fatai has been married for about 2 1/2 years to Ofa Nau Jr. They have a beautiful daughter named Isa Kelia. Mommy says, “She's so much fun.”  They are currently both in school, with her husband just finishing up.  Mommy adds, “I'm trying to finish before we have another child. We'll see how that works out.”  They have been living in California for over a year now and Fatai says, “I love the weather.”

[photo] Nau Family Picture

My Other Half
Of course behind every great woman is an amazing gentleman.  I asked Fatai a few questions about her gentleman.  Here’s what she had to say, “The thing I love most about my husband is how he makes me feel. From the very beginning, he made me feel good about myself. I remember the first time he held my hand; it was so awkward for me. He knew it, too. I wanted to pull my hand away, but he wouldn't let me. I was telling him how weird it was for him to be holding my hand, but I'll never forget his words to me. He just said, ‘Fatai, your hands are perfect!’  Yeah. That just won me over. lol. He truly does bring the best out of me... and the worst. lol. That's marriage for ya. But we make it work, and we'll continue to do so.”

Mommy Life
How did it feel to become a new mommy?  Fatai answers, “I honestly felt scared.   I was really excited, but I had so many questions like, 'How am I going to take care of her?' or 'Will she ever be embarrassed of me?' Being a mom for the past 8 months has taught me what true happiness really is. I don't know how I've done it so far, but I'm doing it."

What do you want to teach her?  She responds, “Something I want to teach my daughter is there's nothing wrong with being different and unique. I want her to be kind to everyone!
I know this because I had to learn acceptance, to accept that my hands were different and that there was nothing wrong with them. Once I did, I saw the world in a whole new light. Everyone is unique in their own way. We all are special in our own way. We all have something good to offer in this world today. Let us acknowledge and appreciate it. “

We know that with life, comes experiences.  With some or even one experience, we are able to become better, change, or in some cases, ‘grow up.’  Fatai shares her life changing experience was, “Back in 2007, I served an LDS mission for 18 months of my life in Houston, Texas. Those 18 months strengthened my relationship with God and with myself. I learned to see myself as Heavenly Father sees me. I learned how to love myself by loving others through service.”