LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

What an amazing man, my father in law, Afu is.  The first time I met him, I literally laughed for 90% of the time.  He was a very happy and energetic person!  I could tell he was my husband’s father.

Mone has inherited his father’s humor, to where he will joke all day, either on people or about life.  The same is with Afu’s other son Larry, who is able to make light of any situation with laughter.  It is what makes everyone around them happy!

[photo] Mone, Afu and Larry

Afu currently lives in Orem, UT with his beautiful wife Dianne and their kids.  Dianne has been one of Afu's greatest supports and has blessed his life with wonderful kids and love.

[photo] Afu, Dianne and Kids

This interview was done by Mone Afu

It’s a cold afternoon in the basement living room. Sitting there watching T.V. and talking stories with a charismatic man known to many as “Afu”. Or those close to him call him P.O.D , but I call him dad. Never a dull moment and always filled with laughs. He is known for his colorful personality and love for his family and friends.

His full name is Sione Afu. He was born in Pukotala Haapai Tonga on March 15, 1965.  He was brought up with strong family values and hard work. This is a trait that he was able to instill in his kids as well.

In October 2011 Afu found out he had cancer. He shares, “The first thought that came to mind was my mother. I was scared and I knew I was going to die. I was filled with a lot of mixed emotions. I don’t want to leave my kids and grandkids behind. I really am scared.” Even after answering the question, he somehow broke the tension that built up in the room with a witty remark about something random. And from that point on I was able to speak more freely about his story.

Magic Na’a, my first cousin, shares of how the news of his uncle affected him.  He said, “At first,” followed by a slight pause, “I didn’t want to believe it was true.  But when you look at it, God has a plan for everyone.  Everything happens for a reason.  All we can do is ponder on all the good times we had together and make more with the time we still have.”

GOALS

I asked him what he wanted to accomplish with the little time he had left. He looked around at my niece and nephew and simply said, “I want to see my grandkids participate in things like sports, cheerleading, and more.  I want them to know me and I want to know them.” That’s when Fatboy, my older sister’s son Livi si’i, ran to my dad with a ball laughing and jumping around where my father sat.

[photo] Afu and Meleana (granddaughter)

Fatboy’s dad, Livi Patetefa, adds his thoughts, “One thing I learned from Afu is ‘don’t be afraid or ashamed of who you are.  In life, no matter what, go in with your head high and show yourself.”

MEMORIES

“One of the joyous memories is the birth of my first born child even though I wanted a boy,” he said sarcastically smiling while looking at my older sister Latu, the first born and had the “whatever I don’t care look” on her face. He went on to say, “I didn’t think I was going to live long enough to have kids, but ended up with a beautiful girl.” This time he finished that sentence with a sincere smile and looked at Latu with the same eyes he must have had when he first saw her as a baby, which prompted me to ask: What did you think about when you saw Latu for the first time? He replied, “My thoughts at that moment was, I was blessed because a lot of people aren’t able to have kids, but I was.”  Latu was smiling from ear to ear that time around.      

[photo] Afu with his oldest, Latu Patetefa

CHANGES

What change after you knew you had cancer? My dad quickly nodded and answered “I’m doing things I never did before. I try to love everyone the same, but some people are annoying,” he said with a laugh. He continued, “I pray now. I used to be a drug addict and an alcoholic, but now I’ve changed my lifestyle because I really thought I was going to die doing drugs. I used to get mad easy, but I’m more relaxed now.”

He then shared with me that, “The hardest part is trying to live. I try everything from medications from the doctors and medications from Tonga, like roots I know nothing about. Not knowing what tomorrow is going to be. Walking around healthy today and you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.  It’s hard.” 

After the last question a solemn quiet came in the room. I guess the people in the room including myself had a moment to ponder over the words my father just shared. It was hard for me to even imagine what my dad was going through so I quickly moved on to the next question.

Motivation

What motivates you to keep going?

“I don’t want to die. That’s my motivation. God knows when it’s time for me to go, but I don’t want to die and I think there’s a reason why I’m still here. The case worker came to the house one day and I was in the tree taking down the lights. The case worker was asking me what I was doing and I told him I was exercising. I’d rather die falling out of the tree or walking on the street than lying in bed” he said with a laugh and we all laughed. He is always finding humor in sensitive conversation. He smiles and finishes off the question by saying, “When I see my grandkids run upstairs calling my name and kiss me it drives me.”

[photo] Afu's Grandkids

Livi shares some things he loves about my dad, “He’s non judgmental, loving and real.  No matter who you are or what you did or do, he loves you the same as everyone else.  He is one of the most real people I know, he says whatever is on his mind, but it’s never offensive at all.

Magic adds saying, “Afu would always tell us to be straight up and let people know who you are.  Don’t try to be someone others want you to be, but have them come to know you and accept you for who you are.”

Words of Wisdom

When asked if he could give advice to anyone going through what he’s going through my father said, “Don’t give up. Be strong. Believe in God. Everybody believes in a higher power. That’s why the big book is right. Faith without works is dead. If you want to live do something to live. Don’t see that the cart is stuck in the mud and call for the horse to pull the cart. It’s better to die trying than just laying there. No regrets. It’s like lying in bed faith thinking that you’ll live, but you need to get out of bed take your medication and exercise your faith. Only then will your faith be blessed because you put in the work. There are trials and obstacles in life we’re going to face. We need to fight through it. If you believe in yourself I think you’ll succeed in life. Only God knows!”

Strong words from a strong man. It’s strange that despite his past, people I’ve come across only have nice things to say about him.


[photo] Afu Family

Latu Patetefa, my older sister and oldest child of my dad, says this, “My dad has a lot of wonderful qualities. He is the most loving person you can ever meet. He loves everyone the same and he doesn’t play favorites. Family is his life and when he loves, he loves with all his heart.”

I know that cancer isn’t going to slow him down and everyone that knows my dad the way I know my dad, they would all agree.  Afu is the shoot for the moon, hit the ground running, gung ho I don’t care I’m going to do what I’m going to do kind of guy and if anything my dad doesn’t have cancer, cancer has my dad.

Additional:

Mone looks up to his dad for several reasons.  One is for his HEART and second for his STRENGTH.  This is why we asked him to tell his story.

The heart is thee strongest part of any person.  Within the heart lays the greatest treasures.  Afu’s heart is big and full of love.  With 11 siblings, it’s no wonder.  Love is one way to focus on the positive and rid of all distractions.

I can’t even begin to understand how it feels to have cancer, not even a little.  With all that Afu has said, I’ve become fuller with love.  Love for the people in my life, love for time granted each day, love for the simple things I usually take for granted and most definitely a greater love for God.  Within his heart is his family and that is what gets him through.  Like he said, “When I see my grandkids run upstairs calling my name and kiss me it drives me.”

This also expresses his STRENGTH.  Strength is defined by Webster as “firmness or courage.”  Afu is firm in his faith and courageous nonetheless through his everyday challenges.  Like he said, “Walking around healthy today and you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

And it should be like that for everyone.  You just never know what tomorrow will bring, and with that mind set, you will love a little more, give a little more, laugh a little more, be kinder, more understanding, more forgiving and so on.  Everyday is an opportunity given to us from God to improve, to become better people in this world he blessed us with.

With Afu’s example we see that even through the worst of news, through the hardships, and through the fears… the only thing visible and felt because of his heart and strength is LOVE.