Sione Afu
The man that was interviewed a month ago, my father in law, Sione Afu, passed away 3:06pm Utah time on February 29, 2012.
....at 2:30pm our phone rings while Mone is taking a test. The word from Linda, Mone's mom, was that Latu, the oldest girl, said that their dad wasn't doing well.
I waited outside of Mone's class eager to go, but not eager for any bad news.
As soon as he was done, which was within 10 min of the initial call, we were speeding down the snowy roads to get to Afu's house.
We parked and my husband ran to the house, anxious to see his dad.
The moment I seen Magic, Afu's nephew, outside pacing and his facial expressions, I felt my heart stop for a bit. My gut felt that Afu was going to pass that night.
As we entered the room, all the family was in tears, especially his older brother, Vaitai, who knelt beside him.
Mone knelt next to him right by Afu's face, a face that would usually greet us when we would walk in, a face that would be smiling, a face that showed no fear, only happiness, we yearned to see this face.
We got there in time for the last few minutes of Afu's life on earth.
As he was taking his last breaths,....
Dianne, Afu's wife, is telling Afu, "everything is going to be okay. Go to sleep. Everyone who loves you is right here with you. You have nothing to worry about. The kids will be okay. The grandkids will be okay. We love you. Everything is going to be okay. Go to sleep."
Mone saying, "Dad I love you, Dad I love you, Dad I love you, Dad I love you."
Vaitai, Afu's brother, drowning in his tears as he holds on to Afu's right hand.
Christy, Afu's neice, standing at the edge of the beds head crying and stroking Afu's head, giving the comfort and the reassurance to Afu that everything will be okay.
Latu, Afu's oldest daughter and child, walks in and falls at the feet of her father, using up any energy she has left to touch his feet and tell her dad she loves him.
Rodney, Afu's son, yells with Afu's few last breaths, "Im sorry dad, I love you!"
Kina, Afu's daughter, holds on to his feet, with one hand trying to support her as she stares at her Father with so much love in her heart and tears in her eyes.
Siaki, Afu's son, walks in and straightway tears overtake his face.
And Larry on skype, yelling for his father to wait for him and that He is coming. He repeats this again and asks him to hold on until he gets here. He then ends with telling his Father that he loves him very much.
The room was full of love, tears and hope.
A room that shared the last moments with their husband, father, brother and dear friend.
The nurse then comes in and after checking him she announces at 3:06pm, "he has passed."
The room was then filled with tears and more tears.
Reality hit. and continues to hit as the day went on.
After he passed, everyone still sat there. It took a bit of time for everyone to pull themself together. But knowing Afu, he'd want there to be happiness, not sadness.
My marriage with Mone has started with the blessing of his dad's return home in Orem and now with his return home to God.
Afu was diagnosed with liver cancer and was told by the doctor that he had 6 months to live. This happened in the ending of October.
It has now been about 4 months.
His last few days went as so...
He had a boys night out! He went to watch a movie with his sons, Rodney and Livi (Latu's husband).
That night we also came to visit him and talked til the late hours. Afu shared with us much wisdom in life. Bits and pieces were counsel, other bits were hilarious stories and other bits were expressions of love.
He also made a declaration on Tuesday to Christy, Kina and Dianne of things he needed and needed now. They said it came out of nowhere and randomly....
"I need a cell phone, so that when I go for a walk, if anything happens, I have a phone to call for help."
"I also need a lap top," he said, "everyone has one, I need one too."
Then Christy asked, "is there anything else?" and after a few umm's he said,
"and a gym pass. For the hot tub."
Tuesday late noon was the last time we saw our dad. It was a time that he wasn't feeling well and went to bed. As we followed him in we expressed our love to him. So grateful for that moment of being able to say "I love You" while he was still with us physically.
With every great man, is a greater woman. Dianne, Afu's wife, has been his greatest support and caretaker since the day they were married. She has suffered with him, rejoiced with him, bore every part of emotion with him and more then that, she always loved him through it all and continues to love him today.
Dianne shared, everything went how she hoped it would,
"I wanted him to get out and come home. He did. I wanted him to spend the holidays with us. And he did. I wanted him to go peacefully, without pain. And he did."
God was able to bless Afu with such an amazing family!
As we sat in the living room talking amongst one another, we watched a slide show that Christy put together of pictures of Afu and his family.
Afu actually asked Christy to put it together just two days before he passed.
Christy was Afu's home nurse and chef. She played a big part of making Afu happy! and a Bigger Help to Dianne.
Experiences in life are crazy! But as the apostles shared, "we can't control a lot of life's changes, but we can control what we do when it happens."
Afu was given news that he couldn't control.
But that didn't stop him...
For example, After Christmas, the lights that were wrapped around the trees in front of his house, needed to be taken down. Dianne expected him to just unravel the bottom part, but instead Afu was up in the tree!
His nurse also came by that same time and asked him, "what are you doing?"
In reply Afu shared, "I'm exercising!" She laughed and continued towards the house.
When he came in he told her, "I would rather die falling off the tree then in bed doing nothing."
Which he stuck to since. He would either take walks, lift weights or anything to keep moving. He never wanted to waste time with the limited time he was given.
He shared with me that He lifted weights so he could get back in shape. Because I just met him recently, he wanted me to get to see how he looked before he got sick. He asked Mone to find some pictures of him on facebook.
When we found some on his brothers' pages, we scrolled through them. He shared that He was so hot back in the days, and that he still is even though he's sick. He was so easy to talk to and so funny. He went on telling me how much mone resembles him. He shared, this is why his mom couldn't bare to see Mone growing up, because he reminded her too much of Afu. He was hilarious!
He was a great example of the saying, "when life throws you lemons, make lemonade."
Afu was a man that EVERYONE wanted to be around, and when you were with him you were either...
LAUGHING
or
LISTENING INTENTLY
Afu went through a lot and gained a lot of wisdom through it all. This is the wisdom he would share with us. From talks of keeping a happy marriage, doing good to others, not passing judgements to stories of talking to his hands and feet (a time when His dad was teaching him a lesson), times at Liahona, his mom and dad, his battles, his struggles, his experiences, his learnings...etc.
Then there's the talks that have you rolling or gasping for air. haha. That is the first thing that you expect when talking to Afu, expect to laugh and expect to laugh hard.
What a good man Afu was and is.
He was unique, because God knew there were certain people that needed him just the way he was. He was always that man that someone would say after talking with him, "I needed to hear that." or "I know I need to do that." You would leave the conversation with him feeling rejuvinated with life, wanting to be better and wanting to take advantage of the blessings we have.
Afu was good with expressing his love, especially for his kids: Latu, Mone, Larry, Siaki, Kina, Rodney, Sierra and Josh. He also expressed his love for sports, his love for tongan food or food in general like banana bread, he also was my number one fan of my banana cream pie... it wasn't anything special, just regular banana cream pie, but he made me feel like I was the best banana cream pie maker there was out there... after I made it for him the first time, a few days later I get a text at 10pm that he was craving some right now,lol. So I woke mone up to run with me to the store and get the ingredients and start making it... Not fully chilled yet, we took it over to him around midnight... and yes, he still ate it that late :)
He also has a love for telling Mone how much the 49ers suck lol.. during the 49ers game, with every touchdown the 49ers made Christy would dance, even with her one cast foot from surgery and Mone would hug and kiss his dads forehead.. Afu would laugh and just say, "Wait til the game is finish and see if you still do that!" Lo and behold, at the end of the game Siaki was doing some kind of movement in the middle of the room, Mone said he thinks he was dancing, and Afu had the biggest smile on his face.
He also has more love for his grandkids: Prince, Naslo, Angelo and one on the way (Larry and Leka's kids) and Luvu, Fatboy and SkyyLin (Livi and Latu's kids). These grandkids are his pride and joy, they are what makes his world turn and fight for life worth it.
Like I said previously, I met Afu for the first time when he got home in the beginning of November. My first time meeting him, I was super nervous, but those nerves went away fast with laughter. He welcomed me as if He knew me for years, I felt right at home with him, never did I feel like an outsider or even "new." He was a blessing at the beginning of our marriage and will remain a blessing in our lives.
Before leaving the house, the kids went through some of their dad's stuff. One of the many found was Mone's missionary tag that said, "Elder Afu." Mone turned to me and said, "I can't believe he kept this. I sent it to him while I was still on my mission."
There are so many great memories to reflect on that help us feel his presence. So many people will miss him. So many people will talk about their great times with him,... for years and years. So many people will express there love for him, for the impact he has had on their lives. So many.
As we do so...
keep in mind...
He is in a better place, pain free with a resurrected body.
He wants us to be happy, so we mourn with hope
Whoever he's with, they are laughing and feeling loved.
Let us remember his life, not his death.
.... let's not say goodbye, instead.... 'til we meet again!
pray for the Afu Family <3
